My Why

I  became serious about living a life of wellness following my horseback riding accident of May 6th 2012.  I was being given a horseback riding lesson by a friend on the dunes to celebrate my birthday two weeks previous.  I was riding the teacher's Arabian, who he had saddled for me before I got to the gathering point at Arroyo Grande Beach, California.   The teacher put me in a three point standing stance and we started up the dunes. Unknown to me, I was on a broken pancake saddle that was split on the underneath part and we were headed to an area where the teacher allowed his horse to run free, unfettered by saddles.  I was bucked up into the air about 20 feet high, while riding to the top of a sand dune.  When I came down, I  fell on the only tree branch around in the six miles  of trail we had already ridden.  To say my injuries were catastrophic would be accurate and I am extremely fortunate to be alive.  

I laid in bed for 7 weeks, as the first Ortho spine doctor at Sequoia Orthopedic & Spine in Visalia, California refused to treat me because of a professional snit  he had with the neurosurgeon at the initial hospital 3 days after being sent back to the valley for follow-up and surgery.  The appointment was confirmed beforehand, and when I told them I still had not gotten my cd with the scans on it, they said no problem.  When my daughter and I got to the front desk a very rude office manager went to talk to the doctor and came back and told me and my daughter the doctor would not see me.  I was in tears, told her I had confirmed the appointment and then  the Office manager threatened to have me escorted out by security.  I was heartbroken, my daughter was livid.  She wanted to pull that smirking rude office manager over the desk, but I put a hand on her shoulder and told her, this is not the kind of doctor I want working on me anyway.  The second Ortho Spine doctor was at Sierra Pacific Orthopedics in Fresno, California.  He let me know in no uncertain terms he would not do a surgery that would take more than four hours in one session and told me I could either go into a wheelchair and learn to live with it or have 4 surgeries to possibly repair my spine over a 1 year period.  He said all this with his back was turned towards me as he insisted my primary care didnt have a clue what she was talking about.  I demanded he turn and face me as he pronounced his no hope sentence on me.  He turned , looked at me and then  turned back around to the counter.  I was referred to him by my primary care doctor because I was having incontinence and losing my ability to stand.  He  told me only a university hospital could do that,  and then refused to refer me to one when I requested it.   I realized immediately my fate was in God's hands  and I had to advocate for myself.   I prayed and cried.  I was so very angry at both doctors for their professional incompetence and disregard.  I had been abandoned at that point by the medical profession, who were the only ones with a possible solution.   I heard in my heart to forgive them both, leave that to God and let my anger and unforgiveness go.  I heard God sees it all, He will handle them.  The moment I forgave and gave the situation to God, a series of events, or what I call miraculous whispering sparks, unfolded where I ended up with the best Neurospinal Surgeon on the west coast and the director of the Neurospinal Department at Stanford, Dr. J Park.  God was watching out for me in the midst of the storm.  Within 6 days of seeing me, I was headed to pre-op.  On the way to the hospital my daughter had a back injury while getting into the car and ended up in the emergency room as they processed me alone to go through to surgery  My surgery was 10 1/2 hours, using three surgical specialty teams to put me back together with no promise I would ever walk again.  

My life changed unbelievably,  Finding  hope,  strength, healing, and ways to deal with chronic pain because of allergies to most pain medications led me to look at nutrition, relation of body, soul and spirit, emotional healing, spiritual renewal, alternative and complementary medicine.  These are the informational things you will find on this site, during my journey to live in the light!

It was during this intense recovery time that I really discovered who I was, who the God I serve is, what type of relationship I wanted as compared to what I had with Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and how much of my stuff I had stuffed down deep and not dealt with for years.  

The past can affect us, it can affect our health and wellness.  The past can help form who we are, but it can not define us without our permission.  It is important to deal with the history, and put it in its appropriate place, not wrap it and stuff it.

Life is amazing, it is not over for me by any stretch of the imagination.  I have many hopes and dreams still yet to fulfill.   Today, 13 years after my injury that left me disabled physically, I am fully retired from the workforce.  Being able to serve  first responders, veterans,  widows and orphans in some fashion has always been a part of my heart and passion.  I attended Basic Chaplain Academy in December 2024 and today I am honored to be able to be of service to our county's first responders,  as one of six county  chaplains.   It is an honor to share my journey with you, in hopes that you will be encouraged.